Dad's Disguised Blessings

Dad served as a pastor for over 40 years. He also served as chaplain in a local nursing home. When dad was diagnosed with Temporal Frontal Dementia, he lived in that same nursing home for a short time before being transferred to a room in the "Garden View" wing at Cornwall Manor Nursing Home, where he still resides.

As I reflect on my Dad's current condition, it may seem to those of us who are still in our "right minds", that Dad's life now is a very sad life. His body is plagued with multiple health issues, causing need for another surgery. He can no longer read; follow a TV program; play a game; walk without help; follow current events news; have breakfast and work out with his old seminary buddy Joe; engage in deep conversations; or tell you what he had for lunch ten minutes after he's eaten his lunch.

But Dad has some current blessings which most "normal" people do not enjoy.

• Dad lives in the present minute at all times.  When I go to see him, he usually lights up with a great big smile on his face and greets me by name and a hearty "Good to see you!"  He will not remember that I was there within minutes of when I leave.  He will not remember what we talked about. And he does not remember where I live right now.  But for the time that I sit with him, he is usually happy.He always asks about the family (even though he won't remember the information).  Most of the time he tells me that he prays for me and the family every day.
• Dad appears to be at peace and content whenever I see him.
• Dad's biggest life concern is running out of his favorite snacks that we take in for him.
• Dad doesn't seem to be plagued by any negatives in his past or a single "regret".  He only remember the good memories from what he terms, "The good 'ole days."
• Dad does not appear to experience any emotional anguish or pain, simply because he cannot even remember offenses.  None.
• When asked if he ever gets bored, (Because that is what we in our "logical" minds may think of a  life of sitting in a chair every day and just eating and sleeping and waiting on nurses to help us do things that we used to do for ourselves and others)...Dad answers, "No.  They take good care of me here."

Oh to learn from Dad's current life's blessings!

1. Live in the present. 
2. Be content and at peace no matter what the circumstances.
3. Carry no burdens.
4. Remember ONLY the good things in the past, and none of the bad.
5. Forget all offenses.
6. Praise people who help and take care of you.

None of us ever wants to be in my Dad's position.  He didn't want to be there either!

Yet, it's helpful for me to remember that

 "All the days ordained for me were written in (God's) book before even one of them came to be."

 Psalm 139:16

This truth is the same for Dad.

As a daughter who is age 50, and still "of sound mind", my Dad who is diseased with dementia and multiple other physical issues as well, is still teaching me valuable life lessons.

Clarence Daugherty Ulrich (2011)